We are having a rough weekend here in our household. Friday morning our dog, Haddie, was acting very lethargic and so we decided to take her to the vet thinking that is probably just a minor illness that could be easily fixed. To our dismay, we found out Haddie had Chronic Renal Failure and was in really bad shape. The vet told us that we could follow through with some treatments that would help prolong her quality of life but only for a few weeks. She also told us that we could choose to euthanize her. We took her home to spend the weekend with her knowing full well that we could not afford the various treatments the vet was suggesting but yet hanging on to some hope of a miracle to heal her. Tonight as she lay here beside me burdened to breathe and no sign of her sweet, hyper, joyful personality to be see I realize we are in a very hard place.
I've spent some time today reading online about renal failure, the symptoms and euthanization. My heart is overflowing with grief. How do we do this to her? We don't euthanize humans, why animals? I have always just accepted it as the norm, what you do to help a suffering animal. But why is it the norm? When did euthanization begin and why do we commonly do it for animals but not for humans? If you were in your dying hours, so sick and lifeless would you want to be "put to sleep?" Or would you rather hang on to those last moments of life to be with your loved ones even if that meant suffering? I don't know. I can't decide for myself, how can I decide for this precious puppy? Why does it feel SO wrong? Why does it feel like I am the one that is going to kill her? How do I call the vet to make an appointment to end my dog's life? It seems cold and callous!
On the other hand, how could I let her suffer? Is it only society that has told us that this is the humane thing to do or is it truly humane? I don't know. Everything that she has enjoyed in her short life she can no longer take part in. I am sure she is sad and scared but is putting her to sleep ok? Furthermore, how does God feel about this? Is it ok for us to take her life into our own hands? It hurts and I just don't know what to do for my little baby.
Sweet Haddie, short for Haddassah (Esther) who saved the Jews from certain annihilation. Haddassah was strong and so was our dear sweet girl. Always looking out for us. Strong to protect us but tenderhearted and loving, especially toward children. We love her dearly. We pray that God will give us guidance in such a hard situation.
Until next time, may Christ's love and blessings be upon you and yours.