Monday, May 16, 2011

While I'm Waiting...

Lately, my life seems at a stand still. I feel like I am sitting here waiting upon the Lord to act on my behalf. We are coming up on two years that I have been dealing with my heart's desire for a child. I have found a great peace with God and realized that I there is a large chance I will never give birth to a child but I still have high hopes that my future does hold more children. 
I have had a great conviction to begin foster care, my husband however has not had this 'great conviction.' This poses a huge problem as you might imagine! I know that my husband has a huge heart and desires to serve God but sometimes he needs a push or a pull to realize that a path is for him. I normally have no problem nudging him along but this time is different. At first, I tried begging, pleading and convincing, no results. And then, I felt God's working hands pulling on my heart and telling me the one word that I am absolutely no good with: WAIT. Ugh! Seriously? More waiting?? So I tried to convince myself that it wasn't really GOD who wanted me to wait...mistake. So after more begging, er, nagging and a little praying, essentially God told me to shut my mouth and let Him do the talking, moving, happening. 
It's now I realize that God can do a much better job of making things happen, perfecting things and calling people to action than I can begin to imagine. No, my husband did not miraculously come to me and abruptly announce that he was ready to sign up for foster care but I can now accept the fact that God is working things out. Working in His own time to perfect this situation, to perfect our hearts to receive children hurt by a sinful world and to perfect the love that we will give these children. 
And so, as the song says:
"I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait..."

If you feel inclined, please lift our family up in prayer. That God's will may take shape in our lives. 

Until next time, may Christ's love and blessings be upon you and yours.